Posts Tagged ‘ Nancy Pelosi ’

Al Qaeda Magazine ‘Inspire’ Publishes First Swimsuit Issue

YEMEN – In an apparent attempt to escalate worldwide interest in the holy war against infidels, Inspire, al Qaeda’s Internet propaganda magazine, published its first swimsuit issue this week. In a teleconference call from an unknown location in Yemen, a spokesperson for the magazine, someone who called himself Larry, told reporters that Inspire’s swimsuit...
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Hillary Clinton Performs Hilarious Stroke Victim Impersonation at U.N.

Hillary Clinton Performs Hilarious Stroke Victim Impersonation at U.N.

NEW YORK – In a rare display of lighthearted spontaneity at a United Nation’s Women’s Rights conference last week, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton followed her impassioned speech with a comical “stroke victim” impersonation that triggered a raucous response from delegates and conference guests. Howling laughter permeated the General Assembly Hall during Mrs....
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Nancy Pelosi Urges Redskins Owner to Change Name to Washington Potatoes

During her speech at a nursing home this afternoon, Nancy Pelosi called on the owner of the Washington Redskins to change the team name to the Washington Potatoes.
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Obama Sends Troops to Border After Learning Illegals Deny Climate Change

McALLEN, Texas - In a surprising turn of events this morning American soldiers began arriving at key crossing points along the Mexican/American border after President Obama ordered U.S. troops to control the influx of immigrants illegally entering the U.S. through Mexico.
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Obama and Biden Caught Making Fun of Health Care Law on Hot Mic

WASHINGTON – To the dismay of democrats and republicans alike, a CNN cameraman with a live mic recorded President Obama and Vice President Biden cracking jokes about the new health care law as they sat together outside the White House yesterday. Following is a transcript of their conversation. BIDEN: (nudges Obama with his elbow)...
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Nancy Pelosi Says She Probably Won’t Watch Romney Sex Tape

WASHINGTON – House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi came to the defense of Senator Harry Reid on Monday over his comments about the existence of a Mitt Romney sex tape. Early last week Reid outraged many Republicans with his remarks that he’d been told the GOP presidential candidate didn’t pay taxes for 10 years, without...
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NAACP Endorses Mitt Romney!

HOUSTON – This afternoon, just days after its members booed him as he addressed their convention, the NAACP announced their endorsement of Mitt Romney for president. After receiving the news Mr. Romney returned to the convention where hundreds of jubilant African Americans welcomed him with chants of Mitt! Mitt! Mitt! Mitt! The Republican candidate...
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Sandra Fluke: I Was Having Sex When President Obama Called Me

Sandra Fluke:  I Was Having Sex When President Obama Called Me

Just a week ago Georgetown University student Sandra Fluke was a normal thirty year-old law student grappling with the daily troubles of being a young woman in today’s complicated world. Sandra was pulling all-nighters cramming for exams, attending meetings for Law Students for Reproductive Justice, going to movies, partying with friends and somehow, finding...
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Obama’s Approval Rating Rises After Joe Biden Emasculates Himself

Obama’s Approval Rating Rises After Joe Biden Emasculates Himself

CAMBRIDGE, Md. – During the speech he delivered at the annual House Democratic retreat in January, Vice President Joe Biden disclosed that he’d fervently warned President Obama against moving forward with the attack that killed Osama bin Laden. Biden told congressional members that President Obama ignored his exhortation and stoically ordered U.S. special forces...
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In Her Bid to Remain Speaker of the House, Pelosi Switches Parties

In Her Bid to Remain Speaker of the House, Pelosi Switches Parties

WASHINGTON – After weeks of Internet rumors of her impending retirement if Democrats lose the House majority, Nancy Pelosi stunned a crowd of admirers last night when she announced that she is switching to the Republican party. A source high-up in the Pelosi staff told The Daily Rash that Nancy Pelosi is a “street...
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