Posts Tagged ‘ narcisism ’

World Celebrates Alec Baldwin’s Return to Twitter

World Celebrates Alec Baldwin’s Return to Twitter

When Alec Baldwin abandoned Twitter I think I was in a state of shock. I don’t even remember the first couple of weeks after it happened. You know what they say, denial ain’t no river in Egypt. But today when I heard he was back I cried happy tears. – Brittany Russell, Seattle, WA...
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Maury Povich Guest Claims Maria Shriver Bore His Child

Maury Povich Guest Claims Maria Shriver Bore His Child

Yesterday on daytime television’s Maury, host Maury Povich informed his audience that his guest would be the former gardener for Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. When Maury said that the gardener would claim that former first lady of California, Maria Shriver, bore his child, the studio audience gasped and began squirming in their seats. Aware of...
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Russell Crowe Champions Foreskin

Russell Crowe Champions Foreskin

SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA – International movie star Russell Crowe has thrown down the gauntlet regarding what he refers to as the “barbaric and stupid” act of circumcision. Spreading his message via Twitter yesterday, the Academy Award winning actor lashed out against removing the foreskin from newborn babies and those who perform the procedure. He included...
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Anthony Wiener Blames Lewd Twitter Pics on Charlie Sheen’s Hairpiece

Anthony Wiener Blames Lewd Twitter Pics on Charlie Sheen’s Hairpiece

NEW YORK – In a stunning turn of events earlier today, an enervated Anthony Wiener told reporters that he sent obscene photographs of himself to young women around the country because Charlie Sheen’s hairpiece told him to. During a statement overwrought with emotion and despair, Wiener claimed that Sheen’s hairpiece also told him to...
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Tyra Banks Brings Meatloaf to His Knees

Tyra Banks Brings Meatloaf to His Knees

NEW YORK – In what has become her signature maneuver as an investigative journalist, Tyra Banks was able to psychologically lure-in and then break down singer Meatloaf in a segment on 60 Minutes Sunday night, giving viewers a glimpse inside the angry rock star’s almost pathological preoccupation with his name. Tyra interviewed Meatloaf in...
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Moammar Khadafi Seeks Asylum in Alabama

Moammar Khadafi Seeks Asylum in Alabama

CRAWDAD, ALABAMA – As war planes flew over Libya’s capital of Tripoli and military snipers took position on rooftops in an apparent attempt to dissuade people from joining rebel fighters, news sources around the world issued reports that Libyan dictator Moammar Khadafi fled the country and was en route to Venezuela. Yet confidential sources...
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Jay Cutler’s Grandmother Calls Him a Pussy on Local Sports Show

Jay Cutler’s Grandmother Calls Him a Pussy on Local Sports Show

CHICAGO – After a bruising loss to the Green Bay Packers in the NFC Conference Championship, Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler told reporters he was very disappointed that his teammates were not able to get him to the Super Bowl. Cutler left the game early in the third quarter due to a mysterious knee...
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America’s Vaginas Glisten in Mayonnaise – Kardashian Style!

America’s Vaginas Glisten in Mayonnaise – Kardashian Style!

LOS ANGELES – Is it a crime if your vagina doesn’t shine? For tens of thousands of women around the country, shining their vaginas with mayonnaise could very well become as important as facial peels, hot oil hair treatments and pedicures. Standing outside a supermarket where she’d just purchased a large container of Hellmann’s...
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Charlie Sheen’s Hairpiece Arrested, Held Without Bail

Charlie Sheen’s Hairpiece Arrested, Held Without Bail

NEW YORK – Charlie Sheen’s publicist told reporters today that Charlie was a victim not the culprit in Tuesday’s drunken, drug induced debacle at New York’s Plaza Hotel. The publicist had originally said that Charlie’s actions were due to an allergic reaction to medication, but now asserts that Sheen’s hairpiece caused him get drunk,...
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Moss Man Claims Charlie Sheen’s Hairpiece Drove Him Insane

Moss Man Claims Charlie Sheen’s Hairpiece Drove Him Insane

HILLSBORO, OREGON – Gregory “Moss Man” Liascos was arraigned today at Hillsboro County courthouse on charges of burglary and criminal mischief. The charges stem from his pre-dawn arrest in a wooded area outside the Rice Northwest Museum of Rocks and Minerals where Mr. Liascos was found disguised as a large lump of moss. Though...
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