Posts Tagged ‘ New York City ’

New York City Parents Elated About Morning-After Pill For 11-Year-Olds

“It’s just a wonderful feeling knowing my government cares enough about our children to provide them with the emergency birth control I didn’t have access to when I was in 6th grade.”     —  Linda “Sunny” Rothchild, NYC NEW YORK – New York City mayoral candidate, Christine Quinn, says she’s open to allowing middle-school girls...
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Anthony Weiner Campaign Ad May Violate Obscenity Laws

WASHINGTON – Just hours after his campaign manager resigned Monday afternoon, New York City mayoral hopeful Anthony Weiner released a controversial campaign ad that has television station managers up in arms, unsure whether airing the 60 second spot violates FCC regulations on decency. Sources from several TV stations say the campaign commercial begins with...
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Mayor Bloomberg’s Impassioned Crusade for Mandatory Breastfeeding

NEW YORK – New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg announced today that women who forgo the popular option of an abortion and instead choose to give birth will be aggressively persuaded by government officials to breastfeed their babies. The mayor has ordered hospitals to put baby formula under lock-down and to only provide it...
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Middle-Aged Wall Street Protester Still Living With His Parents

Middle-Aged Wall Street Protester Still Living With His Parents

CARRBORO, NC – Two weeks ago Bernard Angelopoulos was sitting in his dad’s favorite recliner watching VH1’s ‘Celebrity Rehab’ hoping the show would distract him from thinking about his broken PlayStation. After weeks of determined diligence, Bernard was on the verge of winning the Masters Classic Tournament on SEGA’s Bass Fishing video game when...
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New York City Passes Law to Begin Executing Smokers

New York City Passes Law to Begin Executing Smokers

NEW YORK CITY – After the mayor and city council of New York City approved a bill banning smoking in the city’s 1,700 parks and along its 14 miles of city beaches last year, it was announced this morning that another bill with much harsher repercussions will be signed into law next week. On...
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