Posts Tagged ‘ personality disorders ’

Maury Povich Guest Claims Maria Shriver Bore His Child

Maury Povich Guest Claims Maria Shriver Bore His Child

Yesterday on daytime television’s Maury, host Maury Povich informed his audience that his guest would be the former gardener for Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. When Maury said that the gardener would claim that former first lady of California, Maria Shriver, bore his child, the studio audience gasped and began squirming in their seats. Aware of...
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Russell Crowe Champions Foreskin

Russell Crowe Champions Foreskin

SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA – International movie star Russell Crowe has thrown down the gauntlet regarding what he refers to as the “barbaric and stupid” act of circumcision. Spreading his message via Twitter yesterday, the Academy Award winning actor lashed out against removing the foreskin from newborn babies and those who perform the procedure. He included...
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Anthony Wiener Blames Lewd Twitter Pics on Charlie Sheen’s Hairpiece

Anthony Wiener Blames Lewd Twitter Pics on Charlie Sheen’s Hairpiece

NEW YORK – In a stunning turn of events earlier today, an enervated Anthony Wiener told reporters that he sent obscene photographs of himself to young women around the country because Charlie Sheen’s hairpiece told him to. During a statement overwrought with emotion and despair, Wiener claimed that Sheen’s hairpiece also told him to...
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Tyra Banks Brings Meatloaf to His Knees

Tyra Banks Brings Meatloaf to His Knees

NEW YORK – In what has become her signature maneuver as an investigative journalist, Tyra Banks was able to psychologically lure-in and then break down singer Meatloaf in a segment on 60 Minutes Sunday night, giving viewers a glimpse inside the angry rock star’s almost pathological preoccupation with his name. Tyra interviewed Meatloaf in...
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Afghan Man Reschedules Stoning Wife to Avenge Koran Burning

Afghan Man Reschedules Stoning Wife to Avenge Koran Burning

AFGHANISTAN – Last week Chaghcharan “Cha-Cha” Mahmoud was in his backyard choosing the stones that he would use to kill his wife. The previous day Cha-Cha had been told by his brothers and several local men that his wife had smiled when she thanked the man at the fruit stand for giving her a...
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Moammar Khadafi Seeks Asylum in Alabama

Moammar Khadafi Seeks Asylum in Alabama

CRAWDAD, ALABAMA – As war planes flew over Libya’s capital of Tripoli and military snipers took position on rooftops in an apparent attempt to dissuade people from joining rebel fighters, news sources around the world issued reports that Libyan dictator Moammar Khadafi fled the country and was en route to Venezuela. Yet confidential sources...
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Conan O’Brien Commercials Cause Sober Man to Drink

Conan O’Brien Commercials Cause Sober Man to Drink

PHOENIX – After two decades of sustained sobriety, Kurt Kammerdiener leapt off the proverbial wagon last week with a vengeance, landing with a resounding and tempestuous thud. Once a rising star in the upper echelons of the Arizona business and social communities, today Kurt is more like a tragic comet, plummeting to earth in...
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Charlie Sheen’s Hairpiece Arrested, Held Without Bail

Charlie Sheen’s Hairpiece Arrested, Held Without Bail

NEW YORK – Charlie Sheen’s publicist told reporters today that Charlie was a victim not the culprit in Tuesday’s drunken, drug induced debacle at New York’s Plaza Hotel. The publicist had originally said that Charlie’s actions were due to an allergic reaction to medication, but now asserts that Sheen’s hairpiece caused him get drunk,...
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Koran Burning Pastor & Ground Zero Imam to Appear on Wife-Swap

Koran Burning Pastor & Ground Zero Imam to Appear on Wife-Swap

WASHINGTON – Vice President Joe Biden announced this morning that Florida Pastor Terry Jones and New York Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf have agreed to appear on the television show Wife-Swap. The vice president was all smiles as he explained that he was the one who approached the two controversial men about appearing on the...
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In Her Bid to Remain Speaker of the House, Pelosi Switches Parties

In Her Bid to Remain Speaker of the House, Pelosi Switches Parties

WASHINGTON – After weeks of Internet rumors of her impending retirement if Democrats lose the House majority, Nancy Pelosi stunned a crowd of admirers last night when she announced that she is switching to the Republican party. A source high-up in the Pelosi staff told The Daily Rash that Nancy Pelosi is a “street...
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