Posts Tagged ‘ President Jimmy Carter ’

Occupy Wall Street Using Prostitutes to Deter Rapists

Occupy Wall Street Using Prostitutes to Deter Rapists

NEW YORK – In an effort to cut down on the rapidly growing number of rapes occurring at Occupy Wall Street demonstrations, organizers are encouraging sex workers to join the protests where they will be paid to help absorb the pent-up sexual frustrations of troubled revolutionaries who are unable to control their urges. Organizers...
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Jimmy Carter Banned from Neighborhood Park

Jimmy Carter Banned from Neighborhood Park

SCOTT DEPOT, WV – After dozens of complaints from residents of this small West Virginia town, Putnam County Sheriff’s deputies escorted former President Jimmy Carter out of Robert Byrd State Park yesterday and transported him back to his hotel in a police cruiser. Mr. Carter smiled and waved to onlookers from the squad car....
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Moammar Khadafi Seeks Asylum in Alabama

Moammar Khadafi Seeks Asylum in Alabama

CRAWDAD, ALABAMA – As war planes flew over Libya’s capital of Tripoli and military snipers took position on rooftops in an apparent attempt to dissuade people from joining rebel fighters, news sources around the world issued reports that Libyan dictator Moammar Khadafi fled the country and was en route to Venezuela. Yet confidential sources...
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Jimmy Carter Declares ‘I Can Bench Press 350 pounds!’

Jimmy Carter Declares ‘I Can Bench Press 350 pounds!’

NEW YORK – Determined to sculpt an image of himself that contradicts historical record, former President Jimmy Carter is on a promotional tour for the paperback release of his 2010 book “White House Diary.” Along with defending his self described “superior” role as a former president, Mr. Carter is attempting to dismantle a growing...
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