Posts Tagged ‘ Spoof ’

Michelle Obama Proposes Slaughtering Obese Children


LAS VEGAS – Last weekend First Lady Michelle Obama spoke at a gathering of physicians and nutritionists at a Childhood Obesity forum at the Bellagio hotel. Sporting a sleeveless garment that allowed her toned arms to mesmerize awestruck attendees, the first lady regaled her admirers as physically fit waitstaff served healthy hors d’oeuvres and...
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David Caruso Explains Sideways Stance: “I Always Face Mecca”

LOS ANGELES – Last week when David Caruso appeared on The Tyra Banks Show, Tyra asked him at the end of their short interview, “David, how come you keep facing away from me?” Caruso stood up, put on his sunglasses and said, “Because, Tyra….I always face Mecca.” Caruso then walked off stage and the...
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Gary Coleman Claimed Mick Jagger and Charlie Watts Stalked Him


PAYSON, UTAH – Before he died, a lawyer for Gary Coleman filed stalking charges against Mick Jagger and Charlie Watts at the Payson County Courthouse in Payson, Utah. According to affidavits, Coleman was seeking a restraining order against Jagger and Watts. He also sought five million dollars for pain and suffering. His lawyer made...
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New Orleans Wins Super Bowl! Bourbon Street Awash in Blood and Vomit


NEW ORLEANS, LA – The New Orleans Saints beat the Indianapolis Colts yesterday in Miami to become the Super Bowl Champions of the National Football League. When the game ended many patrons of French Quarter bars celebrated by gathering on Bourbon Street. While thousands of people danced and clapped their hands, others shot each...
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Groupies Cause Security Problems at Bill O’Reilly-Glenn Beck Show


LOS ANGELES – Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck looked at each other and smiled as screams drowned out their attempts to speak at Tuesday’s Bold Fresh tour de force in Tampa. Bras and panties sailed through the air, landing sporadically on stage as the two men attempted to calm the audience. A young woman...
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Scott Brown Tells John Edwards to Stop Calling His Daughter


SNOW CAMP, N.C. – Staffers for Senator-elect Scott Brown confirmed today that former Senator John Edwards has been attempting to contact Mr. Brown’s oldest daughter Ayla. Sources inside the Senator’s inner circle say that Senator Brown has been very patient with John Edwards even though Mr. Edwards calls up to seventy times a day....
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OBAMA: America Needs to Hope Harder! I Mean Like, A Lot Harder!


WASHINGTON, D.C. – In his State of the Union speech last night, President Barack Obama scolded the American public for “not hoping hard enough.” Flanked by Vice President Joseph Biden and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, President Obama pulled no punches with his disgust with the American public, chastising one and all for...
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Obama Appoints Baghdad Bob as Temporary Press Secretary


WASHINGTON, DC – Senior White House officials confirmed today that the administration wants to appoint former Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Said al-Sahhaf, as temporary Press Secretary. Better known throughout the world as Baghdad Bob, Mr. Al-Sahhaf has not officially accepted the temporary position. A spokesperson for Baghdad Bob said the Iraqi Minister of Information...
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Brett Favre Grimaces and Hobbles as Wife Winces in the Stands


NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA – Brett Favre hobbled off the football field grimacing and moaning, clutching various parts of his body and screaming his mother’s name. He shuffled off the field of the Louisiana Superdome having lost the NFC Championship to the New Orleans Saints. As he entered the locker room his wife Deanna met...
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Chelsea Clinton to Host Spin Class in Haiti


PORT AU PRINCE, HAITI – Chelsea Clinton plans to do her part to raise money for Haitian relief efforts by hosting a special Spin-class in Port Au Prince. Chelsea arrived in Haiti on Tuesday with former President William Jefferson Clinton. She asked to join her father on his mission to coordinate efforts to get...
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