Posts Tagged ‘ White House ’

Obama Chastises First Lady Over Unsightly Panty Lines

Obama Chastises First Lady Over Unsightly Panty Lines

WASHINGTON – In a rare display of harsh criticism, President Obama lambasted First Lady Michelle Obama as she and the presidential children were preparing to board Air Force One. When the President first arrived on the tarmac he was all smiles as he waved to press members and staff that had gathered to see...
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Joe Biden Knocks Toddler Unconscious During White House Easter Egg Hunt

Joe Biden Knocks Toddler Unconscious During White House Easter Egg Hunt

WASHINGTON – The fun and frolic of the annual White House Easter Egg Hunt was cut short Monday morning after a four year-old girl was knocked unconscious by Vice President Biden. The little girl has been identified as Brittany Rosa Parks Vanderbilt, the daughter of top Obama campaign donors, Brice and Zoe Vanderbilt. White...
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John Kerry Enters Rehab After White House Stages Botox Intervention

WASHINGTON – This morning the White House acknowledged that President Obama invited John Kerry to Thanksgiving dinner last week in order to stage an intervention. Earlier in the week Obama met with several members of his administration to discuss Secretary Kerry’s Botox usage. After a lengthy discussion, the decision to stage an intervention was...
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Sequester Cuts Force Obama to Kick Mother-in-Law Out of White House

WASHINGTON – The White House announced this morning that because of the automatic spending cuts known as sequestration, President Obama was forced to tell Michelle Obama’s mother, Marian Robinson, she had to move out of the White House. Moments after his mother-in-law and her possessions disappeared through the gates of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave in...
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Joe Biden: ‘It’s Just Easier to Blow Someone’s Brains Out with a Shotgun’

WASHINGTON – While participating in an online forum on Facebook this week, Vice President Biden was asked whether law-abiding citizens would be left defenseless by federal bans on assault weapons and high-capacity ammunition magazines. Mr. Biden looked into the camera and told the questioner that if she wanted to protect herself she should get a...
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Joe Biden Calls Michelle Obama’s New Hairstyle Ghetto Chic

WASHINGTON – At last night’s White House State Dinner honoring former D.C. Mayor Marion Barry, Vice President Biden managed to ignite a bit of a firestorm during his address to the honoree and distinguished guests. After thanking Mayor Barry for his public service and congratulating him on his many accomplishments, the vice president strayed...
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For $25 Obama Campaign Lets Donors Pick the President Up and Hold Him

WASHINGTON – In an effort to raise additional campaign cash the Obama administration has come up with an unusual way for supporters to help the president’s reelection bid. Anyone who donates $25 or more can pick up President Obama and hold him. Campaign staffers admit the president was wary of the idea at first,...
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Mitt Romney’s Rope-a-Dope with Reverend Al Sharpton

NEW YORK – With just days to go before the 2012 presidential election, Mitt Romney agreed to a question and answer session on MSNBC’s  Politics Nation with host, Reverend Al Sharpton. Following is a transcript of that interview: AL SHARPTON:  Thank you for joining us in this day of heated exchanges and profabricated dialogue...
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Obama Campaign Accuses Romney of Holding Up Boston Gas Station

Obama Campaign Accuses Romney of Holding Up Boston Gas Station

WASHINGTON – After a week of assertions that Mitt Romney committed a felony with regard to his leadership role at Bain Capital, the Obama campaign is now alleging he may have been involved in a spree of Boston gas station robberies in 1999. Though the campaign is careful not to directly state that Romney...
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NAACP Endorses Mitt Romney!

HOUSTON – This afternoon, just days after its members booed him as he addressed their convention, the NAACP announced their endorsement of Mitt Romney for president. After receiving the news Mr. Romney returned to the convention where hundreds of jubilant African Americans welcomed him with chants of Mitt! Mitt! Mitt! Mitt! The Republican candidate...
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