WASHINGTON – White House press secretary Jay Carney announced today that Vice President Joe Biden will be performing a dance interpretation of President Obama’s job speech during Thursday night’s address to the Joint Session of Congress. Carney said that Obama and Biden have been rehearsing their speech/dance performance at an undisclosed Washington D. C. dance studio during late evening hours. He added that the president is confident his speech will comfort and instill confidence in the American people while the vice president’s interpretive dance will add an artistic sensitivity that is more often than not absent in political speeches.
Carney explained that Biden’s dance interpretation of the president’s speech is an endeavor on the part of the administration to implement a music video feel to the political process in an effort to appeal to younger voters.
“The president hasn’t forgotten the importance of the youth vote in his landslide victory in 2008. Vice President Biden’s dance interpretation is just one of the methods the administration is using to remind America’s youngsters that Hope and Change is still really cool. We’re confident that when kids watch the vice president interpreting the speech through dance that they’ll get excited about the administration again.”
Sources inside the White House told The Daily Rash that former President Clinton suggested that Biden interpret the president’s speech through dance. The source said that initially President Obama wasn’t too keen on the idea.
“President Obama was wary, to say the least, of Biden dancing behind him during his speech to congress. But the president’s skepticism was allayed after he saw the vice president perform an impromptu dance interpretation of the hit Reality TV show Hoarders for the first lady and the president’s daughters. When Biden’s performance concluded President Obama jumped up and down enthusiastically while applauding and whistling.”
“Through the art of dance, Joe Biden is able to portray the emotional and sexual nuances of a love song, the underlying social and political significance of a popular television series or invoke the melancholy, love, longing, and metaphysical questions of a Ghazal poem recited in Urdu,” Reinking told the Daily Rash. “The uncanny thing is, Joe has no formal training. Some people are just born with an innate artistic gift that affords them the beauty and grace of a virtuoso with seemingly little or no effort.”
Biden’s interpretive dance skills first came to the attention of then Governor Clinton at a White House fundraiser for President Carter in 1979. Clinton fondly recalled the moment in a telephone interview.
“Paul Anka was the musical performer that night and Senator Biden joined him onstage to perform a dance interpretation of Paul’s wildly popular 1974 hit song ‘Having My Baby.’ Let me tell you, it was astonishing. Remarkably Senator Biden was able to express through dance the warmth and tenderness of a man’s feelings for the woman he’d impregnated. During a gut wrenching electric guitar solo Senator Biden was able, through dance, to convey the pain of labor through harrowing contortions. He performed the miracle of birth with graceful ballet movements and ended with a hysterical mime-like slapstick dance about the cutting of the umbilical cord!”
President Clinton chuckled to himself and sighed.
“It was an awe inspiring performance. Just wonderful,” Clinton gushed.
With his dance interpretation of the president’s speech to congress, the vice president may very well be ushering in a new era in American politics. Upon hearing the news of Biden’s plans to dance, political insiders say that Republicans are rushing to find someone who might be able to juggle or eat fire during their rebuttal of the speech.
Sources inside the administration say the late night dance studio rehearsals have wrought an impenetrable alliance between the president and vice president, that their relationship has delved into a deeper bonding and understanding than before. Some even call it spiritual. One thing is certain, there isn’t any question that by expressing himself through dance … Joe Biden has found himself a new B.F.F.