NEW YORK – This afternoon democratic presidential candidate, Cory Booker, appeared with Al Sharpton on MSNBC to announce his running mate for the 2020 election. Following is a transcript of that interview which will air tomorrow on Sharpton’s MSNBC show, PoliticsNation.
AL SHARPTON: Today I welcome to my own show on MSNBC, Kerry Booker, the New Jersey Senatorial who is one of many democrats complaining for the 2020 erection. Welcome to my show, Mr. Senate.
CORY BOOKER: It’s a pleasure to be here, Al.
AL SHARPTON: You may call me reverend.
BOOKER: Of course.
SHARPTON: Mr. Senate, you are one of dozens of concubines competing for the democratic abomination. What makes you more worthy of the erection than your fellow concubines?
BOOKER: My fellow candidates are all worthy and competent people and every last one of them would do a better job as president than the man who holds the office now.
SHARPTON: And what office is that?
BOOKER: The office of president.
SHARPTON: So you are talking about Donald Trump.
BOOKER: Yes I am.
SHARPTON: Are you saying all the concubines should enter his office?
BOOKER: I am saying that every one of the candidates would be a better choice to run the country than Donald Trump.
SHARPTON: So which one are you supporting?
BOOKER: Uh, I support all of them. But I believe I am the best choice to represent our party.
SHARPTON: Why are you the best to resent your party?
BOOKER: I am the sitting senator for the state of New Jersey and before that I was the two term mayor of Newark. I have the experience that’s needed to turn our country around.
SHARPTON: You used to be a mayor but one of your contenders, Pete Bootyjizz, is still a mayor. Does that give him the advantage?
BOOKER: I’m no longer a mayor because I’m now a senator. A black senator, I might add.
SHARPTON: You might be black but Bootyjizz is gay. They’ve moved a couple of rungs above us on the victim ladder.
BOOKER: Yeah, maybe. But I’ve got a drug dealer friend named T-Bone. I guarantee you, Pete doesn’t have any friends named T-Bone.
SHARPTON: Probably not. But let’s move on. All your democratic proponents are saying they want open borders. Heck, Beta A’Woke says he wants to tear down border walls. What say you?
BOOKER: My opponents can talk the talk, but I walk the walk, Reverend. I am here today to announce that I have chosen an undocumented worker to be my running mate.
SHARPTON: Say what? Isn’t it illegal to have an illegal vice president?
BOOKER: My campaign is looking into ways around that.
SHARPTON: But isn’t that rule in America’s constitutional?
BOOKER: The constitution does say the vice president must be born in the United States. But like I said, we’re looking into ways around it. It’s not fair that our undocumented friends are ineligible to represent the people of the country they love. As you are aware, the vast majority of the American people don’t believe it’s fair either.
SHARPTON: (surprised) I haven’t seen that poll.
BOOKER: Believe me, it’s out there.
SHARPTON: Here’s a photograph of your illegal vice president. What is his name?
BOOKER: His name is Juan Carlos and he’s not illegal. He’s an undocumented worker who loves America. Juan Carlos is a family man, pays his taxes, supports his community and loves his country. You know what his favorite TV show is?
SHARPTON: Mine?
BOOKER: I have no doubt he loves your show, Reverend. But his very favorite show is The Kardashians. You can’t get more apple pie than that.
SHARPTON: I think the kind of pie that comes to mind when people think of the Kardashians is mincemeat.
BOOKER: Well there’s one thing I’m certain of, Juan Carlos is eager to serve his country.
SHARPTON: Mexico?
BOOKER: He’s from Mexico but he considers himself an American now and he’s eager to serve in order to make his country a better place.
SHARPTON: Mexico or America?
BOOKER: America. He’s a proud American and he’ll make a wonderful vice president.
SHARPTON: Does your vice president speak English?
BOOKER: He knows several English words and he’s learning more every day.
SHARPTON: What is a vice president who doesn’t speak English going to do?
BOOKER: He’s going to stand with me as I fight to take our country back. Plus, he’s already agreed to take care of the White House lawn and trim the shrubbery. He even insisted I let his wife wash the bed linens and cook the meals.
SHARPTON: Wow! A vice president who actually does something.
BOOKER: Exactly. Juan and his family will be an integral part of keeping the White House clean and making sure my pants are pressed.
SHARPTON: Does he have kids?
BOOKER: He has four kids and they’re looking forward to picking vegetables from the White House garden. And on the weekends, when the vice president is busy in the garage rotating tires and changing the oil on the White House cars, the kids will help their mom sell tamales from a cart in front of the White House. Of course the proceeds from those sales will be donated to multiple charities.
SHARPTON: You think your vice president would come by my house sometime? My gutters are blocked with leaves.
BOOKER: You’ll have to ask him yourself. But I’m sure he’d be happy to help you out.
SHARPTON: Is he cheap? I don’t wanna pay a lot.
BOOKER: He’s undocumented … you do the math.
SHARPTON: Sounds like I need to get a vice president of my own. Anyway, looks like we’re out of time. I want to thank Senatorial Kerry for coming on my own show on MSNBC and wish him and his Mexican good luck.
BOOKER: (touches his heart) Means a lot, brother.
© 2019 The Daily Rash
