Vice President Biden Mocks Ash Wednesday at Press Conference
WASHINGTON – In what many consider to be a tasteless joke, Vice President Joe Biden made fun of Ash Wednesday yesterday at a press conference with President Obama. Afterward, President Obama said that he was not aware of “Joe’s antics” behind him while he spoke to reporters.
As President Obama answered questions, the Vice President smudged his forehead with black chalk and started hamming it up behind him. The President later admitted being confused at the snickering from the press pool during the conference.
“I thought it was odd that while I was talking about American families being out of work that many reporters were snickering. A Fox News guy was drinking coffee when he started laughing. He sprayed coffee on the backs of those in front of him!”
The vice president later said that because he is Irish Catholic, people should understand that his joking is lighthearted and innocent.
“All these people are calling for my head to roll! C’mon, I’m a Catholic! When you’re Catholic you can make fun of things like ashes on your head, or these things.” Biden pulled rosary beads from his pocket.
“Now, I love my rosary beads. But when I’m at a party, I can guarantee you that nobody thinks I’m being mean when I say ‘now what the hell are these beads gonna do for me?’” The vice president started swinging the beads around. “What am I going to do….beat off a mugger with my beads?”
He snickered as he put the beads back in his pocket.
“See? Just good clean fun! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve livened up a stuffy party where everybody’s uptight with those beads. Now c’mon, can’t we all just lighten up and have fun? Huh? Here, somebody pull my finger!”
John Kerry reprimands Biden
Last year The Daily Rash reported that the vice president told residents of a nursing home that Obama would “drop the A-bomb” to end nuclear build-up. Since then, sources inside the administration have said the vice president is “on a short leash.” That his “speaking time” is limited.
V.P. Biden makes fun of obese woman in China
In point of fact, an administration staff member told The Daily Rash, “President Obama had Biden at the podium with him so he could keep tabs on him. The last thing he imagined was the vice president goofing off behind him during a serious discussion!”
It was only a few months ago when the vice president attempted to make his secret service agents laugh in Beijing. He’d just been given a tour of the National Art Museum from the Chinese government. A former Biden staff member recalled the moment that caused her to resign her position.
“The vice president had just left the museum and was about to get into his limo. Several Chinese people were walking by outside the gates, curiously looking in at all the limos and secret service. A very large woman on a bicycle wasn’t looking where she was going….and she ran smack into a tree and fell off her bike.”
The former staffer calmed herself.
“Vice President Biden saw her fall off her bike and he started laughing at her! He was yelling mean things about her weight and saying things about donuts and cake and….and it was just really ugly!”
Biden told MSNBC that his antics were taken out of context by right-wing extremists.
“I was just clowning around for my tired secret service guys! Only republicans could think of a way to make light hearted fun something ugly. And I for one am tired of backing down from these people!”
The next day the administration forced the vice president to back down. He went on the Rachel Maddow Show to publicly make amends.
“I want to apologize to the wonderful, loving people of China. I also want to apologize to the millions around the world who are obesity challenged. And I want to apologize to every woman on the planet. I also want to apologize to everybody else.”
An administration insider told The Daily Rash that the vice president had made some headway after he went on the Sunday talk shows and stood up to negative comments from former Vice President Dick Cheney.
“Vice President Biden was finally making strides to redeem his image in the eyes of the administration. But after this Ash Wednesday thing, they’ll probably take his television privileges away again. And just when the season of his favorite show Survivor: Heroes vs Villains begins!”
